Are you thinking about getting a coach?

Have you been coached in the past?

Are you a coach and either self-coach or do you have your own coach?

I’d love to hear about your experiences and thoughts on coaching. As a life coach myself I tend to self-coach more often than not however when I have had the chance to be coached by someone else I’ve always come away feeling that I’ve discovered something new and exciting in myself and a renewed sense of direction. Breaking down the unmanageable into the achievable never ceases to amaze me. Coaching also gives you the chance to review and reflect what could have gone better but more importantly what did go well! All too often it’s easier to get wrapped up in the troubles that we have endured rather than celebrating the success and the achievements.

Let me know what are your experiences and results from coaching.

Sometimes clients come away from a series of coaching sessions and proudly proclaim that they are no longer stuck in a rut!

So what changed?

Take an example of someone that hates doing presentations and spends most of their energy either trying to avoid them or rush them through so fast in an attempt to shorten the pain. What would happen if they gave themselves the time and breathing space to actually figure out why this was causing them so much anxiety? If they could take a step back and consider what were the blocking issues stopping them from just doing it and doing it to the best of their ability. They could then spend their energy and time on breaking down the hard issues in to more manageable chunks. The next this you know is that you have 10 small easy actions to take rather than just one huge daunting presentation!

As you progress through the coaching sessions you become more adept and agile at this way of thinking and working. It’s at that point that most people have found that they now have the tools to lift themselves out of almost any rut.

• I’m too busy
• Who would look after the kids?
• I can’t afford it
• It’s too risky
• My partner wouldn’t approve
• I’ve never done it before
• I don’t know how
• I failed last time
• Christmas is here and I’m too busy

There are always lots of reasons why you didn’t do something you promised you would. These are called barriers or blocks. The great thing about coaching is that its goal focused. So although we may look at why you haven’t done things, we won’t focus on what went wrong but how we can overcome these problems and barriers the next time. As we break down each block you’ll become aware of how easy your goal really is and that the only thing that was truely getting in your way was YOU!

Often I work with clients that are incredibly talented at speaking negativity. When we first start working together it never ceases to amaze me how clients can put a negative spin on almost anything.

Teaching my clients to rephrase sentences in a positive way is often the first step to self improvement. Allowing yourself to work towards something positive rather than away from something negative.

One way to refocus your attention in a positive way is to consider first what will you gain from working towards and achieving your goal.

“I want to stop smoking” becomes “I’m going to be more healthy and smoke free”
“I want to loose 10lbs” becomes “In ten weeks I’ll be able to fit into my expensive jeans again”

This type of rephrasing takes time. Most people have been negatively phrasing things for years and it’s not possible to just flick a switch. Becoming aware of it is the first step, learning to rephrase is the second. Finally you’ll find it becomes automatic.

Practise makes perfect!

Time flies when you’re having fun!

A watched kettle never boils.

More speed less haste.

How to make time!

Clients often tell me how they just don’t have enough time to do everything they need to do. They make great big long lists and at the end of the day they feel that they have achieved little or nothing that was on their list of things to do.

After coaching clients for several sessions, I’ve noticed that they find two ways to change this.

1: Frequently the people that say they don’t have time are morning people, yet they spend their evenings and nights trying to catch up on what they didn’t do that day. Some even work late into the night to gain some leeway. Then in the morning they feel almost hungover and under perform for the rest of the day. The cycle continues over and over. For morning people the first thing they do would be to get a good nights sleep! Take a break and give yourself the evening off. Do something nice for yourself to help you relax and unwind. Have a bath, watch a movie or cook your favourite meal. Clients like to set themselves the goal of doing this once a week at first to help them break the cycle. That night they set their alarm clock an hour earlier and they go to bed at a reasonable time that will allow them 6-8 hours of sleep. This all requires a little planning in advance so be prepared. In the morning throw away your old list of actions and create a new one. It’s a brand new day, so it deserves a band new list!

2: Schedule things but leave room for a change in plans. If you really have to do something, how to you make sure it happens? Like dentist appointments, birthdays or other infrequent activities that you simply cannot miss. Clients soon realise after a few coaching sessions that “me” time is one of their most important times. Think of all the things you’d like to do but just can’t seem to find the time. For women this is often a relaxing bath with candles, a good book and a glass of wine. For men this is more like playing a musical instrument, meeting up with friends or going to gigs or the cinema. Some of these can take just a few minutes to a couple of hours. Plan in your diary when you could allocate the time. You’ll be amazed at how soon you can spare the time once you actually check your diary. For these activities remind yourself why this is important to you. What will you get from taking this time out? What could you do to prepare and make sure that it happens? Who else needs to know that this is important to you?

Breaking the cycle of a bad daily routine and scheduling “me” time are consistently the two areas that clients find a great deal of benefit from. Some clients just do one or the other where as other people may do both.

Why is it that some things you do, you have no problem in motivating yourself? Yet other things get continually put off.

In this website I have a coaching appraisal survey that allows people to find out the types of questions that a coach will ask and allows people to take some time and actually think about what is important to them.

A very high percentage of people state that they want to be more motivated. However, 80% of these people don’t actually complete the survey!

Now of course this could be for a whole host of reasons, from being interrupted to thinking that the survey was asking silly or even awkward questions that the person wasn’t really keen on answering.

I firmly believe that if a client isn’t motivated then they aren’t aiming for the right goals. Often I’ll be working with a client one week and they are committed to completing an action over the next 7 days. When I speak to them a week later, they tell me that they have disappointed themselves as they haven’t completed the task that they set.

Contrary to what people think, this is a GOOD THING! This shows us that the original goal that the client was focusing on has changed or isn’t what they first thought it was. This type of inaction is a classic example of someone that hasn’t yet clearly identified what is really important to them. This is why one coaching session isn’t really enough to achieve your goals and make some serious improvements in your life. Over the course of several sessions you will find yourself changing direction a few times until you find out what really matters to you.

It’s this learning process and re-defining of your goals that makes coaching so powerful. That is why I offer a Free Trial session. It really is a trial run and shouldn’t be thought of as a one hit wonder. It all takes time.

Just like completing the survey on this website takes time. Even though there are only about 8 questions; they will make you think, so give yourself time to complete it.

Once you have completed the survey, why not book up a free trial session and experience a taste of what coaching could do for you.

Also known as Frequently Asked Questions. (FAQ is pronounced FACS)
I often get asked by new clients what’s normal for clients….

1: How often do they have a coaching session?
2: Do they meet for coaching or is it over the phone?
3: How long are the sessions?
4: How many sessions should I have?
5: What subjects can I be coached on?
6: What should I expect from my coach?
7: What does my coach expect from me?
8: How do I pay for coaching sessions?

The answer to pretty much all of these questions any probably a few more that you are think of is…………… it varies
Slightly more detailed answers are

1: Clients usually start being coached on a weekly basis. After a while, once all the smaller immediate issues have been addressed, the client often finds if more suitable to adjust the time between sessions to a longer period, either every other week or monthly. This is because after the first few sessions, clients like to tackle much more complicated issues that simply take longer to resolve. At this stage, having weekly sessions often doesn’t give the client enough time to actually complete the goal they have set themselves. Also they sometimes say that they know what it is they have to do now it’s just a case of doing it!

2: Most coaching is completed over the telephone. In fact this tends to be more effective than a face to face session. Face to face sessions requires you to attend a location at a certain time, which you may not be custom to travelling to. This causes undue stress and worry about arriving on time, being able to find the location and combine that with the added travelling time to and from the location, your normal 45 minute coaching session suddenly takes over 2 hours. With all the extra time and worry wrapped up in a face to face meeting you should see now why telephone coaching works better. It can be achieved anywhere, at your office at home or where ever you need to be. With no travelling time, your 45 minute coaching session really does take 45 minutes. So you can easily plan around your session to avoid unnecessary interruption to your daily schedule. I can of course provide face to face sessions, but personally I would recommend just the one session and preferably not the first one either.

 3: The telephone coaching sessions last 45 minutes. I try my best to stick as close to the 45 minutes as possible so that you know exactly when you will be free to carry on with your normal daily schedule. Longer sessions can be arranged if required.

4: The number of sessions is completely up to the client. One off sessions can be a good boost but to really see some results 4 sessions are suggested minimum. After 4 sessions then you should review your coaching requirements with your coach and decide if you need to change the frequency and/or duration of the sessions.

5: Most of my clients start with work/life balance issues and then move on to a variety of subjects from confidence to stopping smoking and weight loss. It really can be anything. It’s important that you feel comfortable about your chosen subject and as you progress through your sessions you will find it easier to select subjects that you do wish to be coached on.

6: You should expect absolute confidentiality from your coach. Also expect that your coach will never give you advise or their opinion on your chosen subject. Your coach will challenge you and feed back to you some of the things that you have said, acting as a sounding board in this way your coach will become a virtual mirror allowing you to see yourself and your life from a different point of view.

7: Your coach will expect you to have taken time out prior to any session to relax and clear your thoughts a little. Also you should be ready to make notes of anything that interests you during the session. Honestly is paramount, if you say one thing but in your head you are saying something different, tell your coach that you are having a two way conversation. This often produces the most powerful and effective sessions as it allows you to clear your mind of any internal dialogue that has previously stopped you from achieving your goals. Often your coach will even pick up on this before you do and will challenge you to reveal any doubts that you are having on your chosen subject.

8: All coaching sessions are paid in advance. The easiest way for most people is PayPal. Good old fashioned cheques and also direct bank transfers are also possible.

If you have any questions that have not been answered here, please complete the feedback form below for a personal response.